Conundrum (Morris memoir)

Conundrum (1974) is a memoir by Welsh author Jan Morris (1926-2020). The book covers her childhood, career, and her later gender transition. It was published by Faber & Faber.[1]

Plot summary

Conundrum is an memoir by Jan Morris that covers her life and later gender transition. It begins with the opening line “I was three or perhaps four years old when I realized that I had been born into the wrong body, and should really be a girl.”[2] Morris details her education at Christ Church Cathedral, Oxford and Lancing College, where she went on to have several homosexual relationships.[3] They cover their experiences in the 9th Queen's Royal Lancers and how after they left the military, they discovered Lili Elbe's book, Man Into Woman: An Authentic Record of a Change of Sex.[3]

After discovering that were transgender, Morris visits a variety of Harley Street doctors, seeking gender-affirming health care. Some doctors suggested she may be a crossdresser or gay, both assertions which Morris strongly disagreed with. Morris later meets Dr Harry Benjamin in New York, who explained that Gender-affirming hormone therapy could help Morris, but advised Morris to continue trying to live as a man due to the social stigma.[3] Morris obtained estrogen from a doctor in London, but remembering Benjamin's warnings, decided to flush it down their toilet.[3]

Morris discusses their struggles with relationships, before detailing how they met Elizabeth, whom they went on to marry and have 5 children with. They were open with Elizabeth about their longing to be a woman, which grew every year. Afraid that hormones might affect their fertility, Morris vowed to wait until Elizabeth was fulfilled as a mother.[3] Meanwhile, Morris worked for the The Guardian, and then The Times, where they were assigned to accompany the 1953 British Mount Everest expedition.[3]

In 1964 Morris began taking estrogen prescribed by Dr Benjamin. Over the next two years their body became more feminine. In order to undergo gender-affirming surgery, they were required to live as a woman, so began living as Jan in Oxford. In 1972, they spoke to a surgeon at Charing Cross Hospital, who refused to operate until Morris divorced Elizabeth.[3] Refusing to divorce her, Morris instead visits an unnamed doctor in Casablanca, Morocco, to undergo a vaginoplasty in July 1972. She spent two weeks in Casablanca recovering from surgery with other transgender patients. On Morris' return to the UK they underwent two further surgeries in England to complete the procedure.[3]

Reception

The Sunday Times published extracts of the book in the weeks leading up to Conundrum's publication.[4] Conundrum was a worldwide bestseller upon its release,[5] with Morris participating in a televised interview with Robert Robinson on The Book Programme.[6]

Reviews were mixed, with Nora Ephron calling Conundrum "mawkish and embarrassing",[7] and Rebecca West calling Morris "a man’s idea of a woman".[8] In 2002, The Observer claimed that the book was "denounced as morally repugnant" upon its publication but proclaimed it was one of her finest books.[9]

Transgender readers praised the book, with Debbie Hayton calling it revelatory, due to its publication at a time when very few transgender stories were being told.[10] Stephanie Burt called the book validating and noted it was an early example of the wrong-body narrative.[11]

In 2019 Conundrum featured on The New York Times "50 Best Memoirs of the Past 50 Years" list.[12]

References

  1. ↑ Gilmour, Charlie (2026-04-06). "Jan Morris by Sara Wheeler review – masterly account of a flawed figure". The Guardian. ISSN 0261-3077. Retrieved 2026-06-12.
  2. ↑ Altares, Guillermo (2023-01-19). "Jan Morris: The writer who discovered she 'was born in the wrong body'". EL PAÍS English. Retrieved 2026-06-11.
  3. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 Morris, Jan (1974). Conundrum. Penguin Books. pp. 29, 48, 53, 54, 63, 121, 137. ISBN 0140086927.
  4. ↑ "Jan Morris's Autobiography". The Bookseller. 30 March 1974. p. 65.
  5. ↑ Johns, Derek (2016-10-02). "Jan Morris at 90: she has shown us the world". The Guardian. ISSN 0261-3077. Archived from the original on 2019-04-07. Retrieved 2026-06-11.
  6. ↑ "BBC2". Shropshire Star. 26 April 1974. p. 9.
  7. ↑ Ephron, Nora; Ephron, Nora (2012). Crazy salad & Scribble scribble: some things about women & notes on the media. New York: Vintage Books, a division of Random House, Inc. ISBN 978-0-345-80474-7.
  8. ↑ "Jan Morris was a man, then a trans woman—but always a narcissist". The Economist. ISSN 0013-0613. Retrieved 2026-06-11.
  9. ↑ "Classicwatch". The Guardian. 2002-03-24. ISSN 0261-3077. Retrieved 2026-06-11.
  10. ↑ Travel writer and trans pioneer Jan Morris dies aged 94, retrieved 2026-06-11
  11. ↑ Burt, Stephanie (2021-01-29). "The Conundrum of "Conundrum" by Stephanie Burt". The Paris Review. Archived from the original on 2026-02-18. Retrieved 2026-06-11.
  12. ↑ Times, The New York (2019-06-26). "The 50 Best Memoirs of the Past 50 Years". The New York Times. ISSN 0362-4331. Retrieved 2026-06-11.
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